


I Can Still See Your Smile

by obidalanetwork_archivist



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Complete, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-12
Updated: 2008-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist
Summary: Amidala must tell ObiWan she is pregnant . . .
Collections: Obidala Network





	I Can Still See Your Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Nadia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Obidala Network](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Obidala_Network) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Obidala Network’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/obidalanetwork/profile).  
> Disclaimers: All Star Wars characters belong to George Lucas. "I See Your Smile" belongs to Gloria Estefan. This song, in my mind, is almost the perfect Episode III song. If you have never heard it before, I highly suggest you dash right down to the local music store and buy it to listen to, or call a radio station and request them to play it for you. Or, you can always do the easy thing and search through your own music collection to find it. But, anyway, enjoy the story and I hope you see the connections between this remarkable song and the possibilities for Episode III.
> 
> This story is dedicated to my good friend, Andre, for your enthusiasm for my work and, of corse, love for Star Wars.

I, get a little tongue twisted,

Every time I talk to you,

When I see you.

It was late. The ghastly light of the moon cast a whiter shade of pale across the gardens of Theed Palace, reflecting against the murky ponds and glossy shrubbery. I, Queen Amidala, paced along the flagstone walkways waiting for Obi-Wan.

I requested him to meet with me tonight under grave circumstances, circumstances I myself almost could not comprehend. Yet it was so. I was pregnant. Pregnant by Anakin. Pregnant by the Force.

I dreaded telling Obi-Wan the news, yet he had to know, must know. Somehow, I knew the fate of the galaxy depended upon it. I was lucky to be able to hide it from him and Anakin. Being Jedi, they could sense such things, though I had the advantage to having a higher midi-chlorian count than the usual. I had been tested as a young child. Everyone was. The reading was not significantly high, not enough to begin training as a Jedi, but I did have an ability to shield my thoughts from people. That was how I was able to conceal myself as a handmaiden so many times before, including the fateful time when I had met Obi-Wan and young Anakin.

I stopped once I heard the sound of boots clicking against the pathways. I turned to find Obi-Wan heading towards me in his usual Jedi walk. Approaching me, he looked down at me, grim-faced and expression weary.

"Thank you for coming," I said, voice hushed and frail.

He only nodded, then began. "What did you want to see me about that was so important?"

I stopped, unable to find my voice. It was if I couldn't speak, my tongue taken from me. My voice wouldn't say the words I commanded them to speak. Defying me, I blurted, "Anakin."

And I'm so glad that you just missed it,

The way I stared

To memorize your face.

He turned his face away from me, eyes closed and breathing heavy, contrite with my answer. I studied him then, his dark features, and aged, intelligent look. His skin was weathered and rough, his face deeply lined, only adding to his stalwart composure. He opened his eyes, still avoiding me. They were deep and intense, almost ghostly. Clear, yet muffled, his eyes were rather equivalent to settled mist.

I memorized him then, in his entirety. This might be my last moments with this brave Jedi, my confidence, my constant.

To kiss you in my mind,

Love you all the time.

I imprinted his essence in my mind, his signature embedded forever into me.

Obi-Wan had been my dearest friend, had always been there for me, even when Anakin wasn't. It has always bene Obi-Wan. Always. My love for him will always remain, long after our dark trials. I do not love him as a lover, but as something more. Our bonds wove together through all of the corruption Anakin brought onto us. It will never be broken; even in death.

'Cause when I close my eyes,

I still can see your smile.

It's bright enough to light my life

Out of my darkest hour.

I then closed my eyes, peeling back the years that had aged this man before me. I remembered timed when the three of us were together; Anakin, Obi-Wan, and myself. Times that were lighthearted and carefree.

I remembered the times when Obi-Wan used to smile, a lopsided grin that so often crossed his boyish face. That smile gave me hope now, in the time when my whole world couldn't have been darker. It's that smile that will pull me through this, Obi-Wan's smile, should he choose to offer it to me.

Please believe it's true,

When I tell you I love you.

Some day I will tell him all that I feel for him, of all my feelings beyond what mortals call "love." I just hope that he will believe me.

I've taken too many chances,

Searching for the truth in love

That's in my heart.

"What about Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice split the silence. It was clear that he did not want to talk about him and was questioning his reason in the matter.

"He has given himself to the dark side, hasn't he," I stated, eyes filling with tears ready to fall. "The last time I was with him, I saw it in his eyes, the hate that fueled him. I've taken too many chances in trying to win him back. He has fallen in love with something that he thinks is more important than I. All I've done is search for the love I know he possessed once."

Tell me if I made the wrong advances.

Tell me if I've made you feel ashamed.

My voiced choked inside my throat. "Obi-Wan, have I searched in vain? Were my advances towards him wrong?"

He shook his head. "No, I think that as his wife, you had every right to find Anakin again. It is his loss that he is not able to see that you still love him."

"No, Obi-Wan. He knew, still knows that I love him. He just doesn't know how to love me anymore." I drew my hands to my face, cupping my flaming cheeks.

"Are you ashamed at me, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan stepped forward, embracing me. He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing tightly. "No, your Highness. I'm not ashamed at you for trying to find the good in Anakin."

'Cause I know I have to do this.

Would you hold my hand right through it?

I know Obi-Wan needs to take me away from here. Anakin will find me, despite my best efforts. No, not Anakin. What he has become. I have to leave. I have to do this. I need Obi-Wan. He has to help me. I cannot do all this on my own. I don't know if I can.

I had to let you know

Just what would happen.

Yes, I had to let you know the truth.

I know I've got to do this.

Would you hold my

Hand right through it?

Would you?

As he held me, all I could think about was my secret, my true existence. "Obi-Wan, I need you to know something, something that could change all that happens."

Obi-Wan let me go, and looked at me. I clearly had his attention. "What?"

"I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened in shock, his mouth hung open. "What?"

I started crying uncontrollably, not knowing whether he was happy for me, or afraid for me. "Obi-Wan, I'm pregnant. I had to let you know. I need you to protect me, and my child."

He backed off, not knowing what to do.

I held out my hand for him. "I need you, please. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

Slowly, he took my hand, "I have pledged my service to you, Amidala. I will help you, always."

'Cause when I close my eyes,

I still can see your smile.

It's bright enough to light my life

Out of my darkest hour.


End file.
